The time when the sky
Met the ground arrived.
The mist and fog left a
Cool, wet feeling on my skin.
It helped to mask the white
Trails left on pink cheeks.
The graves donned names of
People I never knew, but cramped
Between two granite slabs was
One I have known for years. The
Name that shared a link with mine,
That came to life for me.
Through the bells and conductor
Of the trolley, a voice was speaking
My name. I saw an image saunter
Through the cemetery, but no soggy
footprints proceeded him. He called my
Name in a harsh baritone I have heard before.
He smiled the fat of smiles as
He passed by, his opaque body
Slightly showing through hill
Ridden clouds. Just as suddenly as
He appeared, he was gone. All
Was still as I turned and walked away.
This poem sounds sad. Especially near the end. The last stanza.
ReplyDeleteI like it, but... it tells a story, and I'm confused about that story. Why does the man appear? What do you do after he leaves? Maybe you could extend it to tell your reaction to his passing? Is there more to the story? Could you somehow explain who the person is?
I think your diction is pretty good throughout, but the second stanza, last line... I don't know why, but I have a slight problem with it. Maybe in the way you phrase it. It seems confusing and I don't know what it means.
Besides that though, I really like the poem. Quiet, calm tones. Sad tones near the end. I like it. Maybe mention some temperature details.
<3